The smell and taste of strawberries are simply irresistable. =) I had a cold a few days ago... ice cream was a big no no. hehehe But I just could not resist the temptation of strawberry ice cream. I spent a day with fever and very sore throat. Lesson learned: The cold will go away... the ice cream won't. =) 

My hands

 

Pretty pretty hands

Afternoon plus camera

Go click Johari 

Tale as old as time
searching for your heart and soul
leads to roads unkown. 

Life is like a rose
Lingering scent reminds us
of cherished and lost. 

days turn into weeks
weeks into months quietly
not a friendly word

treasured book lent kept
hoping owner shall seek it
to break the silence

patience has expired
endure not the apathy
with thanks book returned 

I wish I could reclaim the innocence of childhood. I yearn for it but I know it will never be. That's why I forget or try to forget almost everything. In forgetting I hope to attain that state of mind wherein there is no loss, hurt or disappointments, just hopes and dreams.
 

What are you reading these days? 

Some days, I wake up and feel like I�ve step into an alternate reality.
Some days, my inner self could see clearly and seem more in touch or tangible from the surface.
Some days, I wake up feeling lost and locked within.
Some days, it�s endless sunshine and a comforting breeze follows me everywhere.
Some days, there seems to be more of me and we have fun and chat together.
Some days, I can�t help but look towards my left� expecting someone to pass by.
Some days, I can feel the music� hear the nuances of sound.
Some days, my mental images are all black and white or just plain faded.
Some days, I can see patterns on leaves, clouds, sands, pavements and everything else.
Some days, I wake up with my 6 year old self.
Some days, my evil twin is behind my back.
Some days, I can say what I feel.
Some days, someone else speaks for me and I don�t like it but can�t stop.
Some days, I feel like I�m flying towards the sun, the breeze against my face as I fall back down to earth and the blackness that envelopes right after.
Some days, I feel like I�m a house with some windows left unopened.
Some days, I can�t help but look for myself.
Some days, someone visits me.
Some days, I sit and stare, sit and breaths, sit and be still.
Some days, it�s hard to be here and now.
All days then, now and tomorrow, I am with me.

 

A pretty picture of Janice... taken using the phone cam of Nokia 7260. Resized. 

Haiku

To control spamming
And disturb you less often
In haiku I speak

English became the wedge that separated the Filipinos from their past and later was to separate educated Filipinos from the masses of their countrymen. -- Renato Constantino, historian  

By Blood

PACO PARK
San Marcelino and General Luna Sts., Manila, Philippines

Built in 1820 at the south side of the Pasig River, this petite but beautiful circular park of moss- covered stone -- with a picturesque chapel in the middle-- was a cemetery until it was declared a national park in 1966. Its two concentric walls served as burial niches for the Spanish elite and, for a while, the national hero José Rizal. Rizal was secretly buried at the back of the chapel after his execution but his remains were later transferred to the Luneta Park. No burials have been performed here since 1912.

Interesting that Rizal's family seems to identify themselves with the Spanish elite. This is one irritating trait of Filipinos... trying to establish their identity by association with other cultures.

I am a Filipino. I am not a Filipino with a fourth of Chinese blood or a fifth of Spanish blood or a Tenth of Japanese blood. I am just a Filipino... if you need to know something about my blood.. it's type B. 

Scents of Memories

A certain smell could trigger memories from childhood, usually clean bathroom scents. I would then remember taking relaxing afternoon baths. Everyone else in the house would be taking afternoon siesta and a quite solitude engulfs me. At times the clicking of mahjong tiles could be heard from the bathroom. I miss my Lola. She was always there for me. She reared me and made me feel special and cherished. I could honestly say that I truly love her. She accepts me for myself. Flaws and all.
To Lola, I could give her smiles and hugs and she would not turn me away. No matter how busy, she has time enough for me. Sometimes, too much time to apply the switch to my rear end.

Absence of morality is directly proportional to emerging technology

Is morality brought about by the collective views of society or is it the basis of society? Or is morality a prejudice practiced by those in a society?

Who really know? Whose belief or answer is the truth? It is as partial as the question itself. I may think that morality is just an issue that constantly evolves whilst society grows and change, while others may view my notions prejudice and believe that morality in itself is shaping our society. But if the latter is true then society should be ideally much better off, morality wise, than it was a century ago. However, it could be noted that society today has looser values as compared to society a century ago.

Or is it perhaps that society and morals are loose and easy nowadays because it is much noticeable and more discussed. For example, it would seem that acts of sexual violence is more rampant today as compared to the previous century. But the fact is, presently, we have the technology to gather and disseminate information faster thus the seeming abundance of such crime. Chances are, given the same advancement in technology, our forebears would no doubt be found as guilty as us with regards to immorality.

A Glimpse

Working with deaf students is challenging in a way that they have a different perspective of things and sometimes in trying to reconstruct my perspective, so that they could understand me, I find myself learning something new. Teaching them has brought to my attention simple things that I had no time to appreciate in my haste to master the complex.

Their appetite for knowledge humbles me and I leave the classroom wishing that everyone could be like them in that respect.

Where do dreams fade away?

As we grow older, we lose sight of our dreams. We become hampered with the mundane. I used to dream of other worlds, other beings, of doing extraordinary things but now, I dream of this worldly things. I was one of those children who grew up thinking I was an alien baby left here on earth. I know I was "one of" because I have friends who share the same delusions.

I have never been much of anything. I would have mastered mediocrity down to an art where it not for the fact that in doing so I would contradict myself. Growing up was an adventure in itself but hitting adulthood was like being shackled to iron balls. Responsibilities, relationships and society are heavy weights that ground our free spirits. Having to make a decision is probably the worst thing that could happen in adulthood. Well to me at least. I hate making decisions. I would rather that someone else decided for me.

A very selfish moment

If I were brave enough to kill myself I would have done so a long time ago. I see no point in living but I fear dying more than I regret living. It is not death itself I fear, it is more like the moment when I have to pass on before being free of my physical self. In death I believe that I would find peace. There will be no more worries, wants or needs. I will be free to explore the cosmos and learn the secrets of the universe. Ha! It won't be secret if it could be known to anyone, even a soul. But then, I think that souls know everything already and it is just the physical world that hinders the soul because of established trends or ways of thinking.
 

Renewal

I always thought that inspirational stories were fiction written by well meaning folks to inspire us in our daily lives, but it never really happened. That is, until today.
Last night, I started working on this homepage. I was so engrossed on what I was doing that I did not realize it was already four o'clock in the morning. I forced myself to go to bed because I had to drive my sister to school before seven, but I tossed and turned and finally fell into a fitful sleep around 6 a.m. only to be rudely awakened a few minutes later. I woke up with a nasty headache and with a temper to match. I felt resentful that I had to drive my sister to school when she was old enough and was capable to go by herself. I kept thinking that I went to school by myself during kindergarten and here she was, a high school student, and she had to be driven to school.
I growled and scowled all the way to the garage. Luckily, my mother left for work before I got outside else I would have had an earful of sermons. I started the car and backed out of the driveway without even bothering to warm the engine, I just want to get it over and done with so that I could return to sleep. I was in a rush that I nearly crashed into another vehicle while turning a corner. I hated driving early in the morning because I have very poor reflexes when I'm sleepy. Knowing this I snapped out on my mental tantrum and concentrated on driving instead but the scowl never left my face. Minutes later I blew a tire. Man! what a way to start a day. Talk about waking on the other side of the bed. I pulled over and growled to my sister to start walking. I walked her to a jeepney stop and gave her the ten pesos I always keep on my license's jacket. To make matters worse that was the only money I had on me. I had to walk back home and I was fuming!
While walking, the sun kept getting into my eyes, which were mere slits from lack of sleep. I began to notice my surroundings. The sunlit road, the warm balmy wind blowing my hair, the green leaves sparkling under the sun... slowly with each step I take, my temper cooled, I felt as if a load was being removed and I felt lighter. Out of nowhere a thought came to mind... I should thank God for blowing my tire! I knew then and there that if I had continued on, the chances of me being caught up in a vehicular accident was high. For the first time in my life, at that very moment I truly believed that God does love me and I felt that I had His attention and He was looking at me. It felt good. I knew I had to share this, though it may sound corny or meaningless to some people.